Can I Trust My Body? A Three-Year Autoethnography of ChatGPT's Place in My Support System for Panic Attacks
Abstract: People increasingly seek mental health support from large language models, yet little is known about their use across years of recurrent panic. We present a three-year analytic autoethnography of the first author's ChatGPT use while living with panic disorder, drawing on conversations, personal records, and accounts from friends or family members and professionals. Narrative analysis traces how my questions shaped ChatGPT's roles and how earlier experiences influenced later responses to symptoms. Familiar explanations could make sensations less frightening, while changed symptoms renewed fears of serious illness. During sudden panic, advice could be difficult to follow, and some replies prompted further checking. Conversations could end while symptoms, checking, or help-seeking continued. We propose trajectory-level safety during and after panic: usable advice (Fit), a stopping point for repeated checking and reassurance seeking (Closure), and useful understanding and human support that remain available over time (Continuity).