Abstract: 3D anomaly detection (3DAD) aims to identify defective regions in point cloud data, serving as a critical component in industrial inspection systems. Existing methods are normality-centered -- learning the distribution of normal samples and treating deviations as anomalies -- without explicitly modeling what constitutes a defect. This leads to ambiguous decision boundaries with increased false positives and negatives, particularly in unified and cross-domain settings where diverse normal distributions further blur the boundaries. We propose a relational inconsistency modeling framework that characterizes defects as violations of geometric consistency among neighboring structures. Our approach learns category-agnostic defect cues through pseudo-anomalies designed as controlled relational violations, instantiated by two key modules: Edge-aware Graph Refinement (EGR) for encoding geometric relationships among local regions, and Cluster-Deviation Modeling (CDM) for identifying regions that are relationally incompatible within their structural peer group. Extensive experiments on Anomaly-ShapeNet and Real3D-AD demonstrate consistent improvements over prior state-of-the-art methods in both in-domain and cross-domain settings, validating the effectiveness of learning an explicit, relation-based defect criterion for 3D anomaly detection. Project page: https://visualsciencelab-khu.github.io/GRIM_project/.